One Reply to “Why Don't Men Call?”

  1. Coach Laura

    This is a very open ended question because a lot of times the answer has to do with the circumstances under which the phone number was asked. I went right to the source to get the answer. The men I asked wanted to know “How many drinks did the guy have when he asked? There is a direct correlation between how intoxicated he is and the likeliness that he won’t be calling.” If he was fairly intoxicated, then he may not remember the woman. There may be any number of circumstantial reasons that someone may not call. He may have met someone else. Many men also follow a 3-day rule. He may have simply lost the number or interest. Please don’t take this personally.

    The real issue I think women are not addressing when they ask this question, however, has to do with themselves. Why are women so attached to a “stranger” calling them back? When you ask yourself that question and you probe for the real answer it may feel a little uncomfortable. What need are you needing filled? Take on the responsibility of filling it for yourself in a healthy way. Then you can come to any relationship whole and not needy. I recommend instead of being so desirous of him to call that you let go of the expectation and trust that whatever happens (if he calls or if he doesn’t) is for your highest good. Use your energy and focus on your well being and self-nurturing. If you need more attention, connect with your girlfriends, get involved with a community project, volunteer to teach a class somewhere or be a big sister.

    Also, even if he does call, PLEASE do not attach another expectation on that he should call again. You’ll need to do a lot of exploration and discerning before you can determine if you can entrust him with your heart.

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