Prevent Becoming Cynical About Relationships

I am afraid I might turn into one of those women who are cynical about relationships and angry at men. What can I do, I’m heartbroken and I don’t like it?

Signed, Afraid of the Dark Side

One Reply to “Prevent Becoming Cynical About Relationships”

  1. Coach Laura

    I feel your pain. You are not alone. There are plenty of women out there who have experienced a breakup that has left her feeling sad, disgusted, enraged, exasperated, and/or regretful. There is hope for you.

    The first thing to do is identify ALL of the feelings you have and differentiate them from the thoughts you have about the guy, yourself and the break-up. When you can distinguish your feelings from your thoughts, you have taken an important step. Women get stuck when they get in a thought pattern that is a reaction to their feelings. Normally, this is a way of resisting the feelings and a very ineffective way to diminish the pain. In fact, it perpetuates the pain. You must, instead, as scary and unattractive as it sounds, surrender to the feelings. Accept the feelings so that you may learn how to respond (vs. react). Your feelings are VERY important. They are your soul’s way of communicating to you. Please do not resist, try to ignore them or get rid of these painful feelings. If you do, you are disrespecting your soul and missing the key to your healing. When you embrace your feelings they can be healed and truly disappear.

    So what does embracing your feelings have to do with not becoming a cynical angry woman? Everything. It’s your golden key to unlocking the richness and beauty of your own being. Being able to be with your own darkness without judgment allows you to see your power. You become more compassionate, centered, clear and unafraid. You understand your needs and are able to express what is acceptable or not to you without fear or desire to control anyone else. Bottom line, you get very skilled at taking care of yourself emotionally. Then, you are a force of feminine energy who can create a world of joy. Step into your power, honor your feelings. When you step into your magnificence, it will no longer matter what he did. You might even see it as a gift.

    What I know is, when the Universe says “no” there’s a greater “yes” awaiting you.

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