Where to meet MEN? The wrong question

Single women who are re-entering the dating world or have been struggling with meeting guys have often ask, “where do you go to meet men?” They ask as if there is a magic answer. My answer is everywhere. Single available honorable men looking for a long term committed soul-connected relationship are everywhere. They are in the supermarkets, post office, parking lots (remarkably I’ve met many in parking lots), gas stations, Costco, parks, library’s, bars, classes, clubs, speed dating events, internet, singles organizations, dating services, sporting events, yoga class (if they’re smart), charity events, hiking trails, surfing, races, business events, offices, Fry’s, the beach. I could go on an on. So you could go to every event, bar, club/organization and sporting outing and wear yourself out or….. ask a different question.

Stop The Man Hunting

I’ve known women who have gone out there only to prove themselves right about “there’s no one out there.” Stop hunting. That’s the man’s job. They’re much better at it too. If a woman is too outwardly focused, she is not radiating her inner beauty, that part of her that men are drawn to. She is almost invisible to men when she is on the “lookout” for Mr. Right. Believe me; I know this from personal experience. The men that I did find were either not attracted to me, because “I” was missing from the picture or they were just as desperate.

Start Connecting To…

When a woman is so connected to her wonderful self and is focused on creating a joy filled life, she will have men following her. The question to ask is “how can I create more joy for myself right now?” The answer might be go to a coffee shop and savor her favorite hot beverage along with Oprah magazine. Or take a couple of hours to get lost in a bookstore or park. Seek out your own answer. Finding your own joy is essential to attracting a loving partner. Relish your life. Create a juicy life for yourself.

If you have wonderful girlfriends who celebrate you, spend time with them, make plans to go and do things that you love doing with them. Observe what happens over time. And whatever you do, give up hunting and start enjoying your life.

Now we can start talking about ideas for things that will bring you joy and that will coincide with meeting men. Take… walks on the beach, a class about some topic you’ve always wanted learn about, take yourself out to a meal (with a friend or alone), take care of some errands that you know will make you feel accomplished, get some exercise in a way you enjoy, join a club that has people of like interests that you enjoy (Sierra, biking, running, painting, rock art, music, photography, etc.).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting giving up on meeting a guy. Quite the opposite. The more joy you exude, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more attractive you are. The easier it will be for the right guy to find you.