Dear Coach Laura,
I struggle with how to tell people who call to brainstorm about work that they are using up my work day. My work day is much longer than it needs to be because I get these types of calls. I know I need to set better boundaries with my time, but I also don’t want to be an unapproachable person either. There must be some middle ground?
You obviously have a gift of coaching and creative problem solving. When I answer your question, I will make an assumption that you do love helping people this way. The term “setting boundaries” makes me feel like we’re putting ourselves in a prison. So I would like to give you permission to not set boundaries. Instead, I want to give you more freedom. I truly think it’s a matter of speaking your truth and letting people know what you want without hurting them.
Take the wisdom from one of my Feminine Power Cards which reveals one of my philosophical beliefs that, “ou can say anything to anyone when it comes from love.” This requires clarity of mind and emotions. If you feel a sense of guilt, frustration or fear of someone rejecting you as a result, you need to address this first. Realize that no one is making you feel guilty, frustrated or fearful except you. Take responsibility for your feelings. That means identify what you are feeling and clarify what you really want to be feeling. Determine what you need to get to where you want to be. Be sure to go into your heart to get these answers. What do you want to feel and what do you want for them? Then you’ll have the heart-centered truth to speak from.
You might think of it this way, when you take care of yourself, you are modeling to others that it’s ok and important for them to take care of themselves.
Here are a couple of examples of ways to deal with your scenario from your heart when people call to discuss work situations with you.
- Let them know you are in the middle of something and give them the option to hire you if they would like more time. You could say something like:
“I am intrigued by your situation and would love to help you work through this. Right now I’m in the middle of a project that I need to get back to. Is this something you would like to hire me to help you with? We could set up a time where I can discuss more about how my services can help you make progress on this situation. Is that of interest to you?” Did you notice that this response while completely loving and honoring also could make you more income?
- Let them know you are on client time now and set up an alternative time to talk.
- Let them know that you are flattered that they have come to you for your advice and would love to help them. Now is just not a good time. Ask them if they are available at a time that is better for you. I am completely honored that you have thought to share this situation with me. Thank you for entrusting me with this information. I would enjoy helping you with it. I would like to give this my full attention. Right now I am unable to do so. Could we set up another time to do so?
I invite you to step more deeply into your heart and let it guide you. You will be giving more love and loving yourself more in this process. Thank you so much for offering your question. I believe we need more women speaking the truth from love in the world. You will see your whole world lighten up and become easier and more productive.
In Joy and Love,