How to get the spark back in my relationship?

Dear Coach Laura,

I love my husband very much. Since we’ve been together a while we’ve settled into a routine and the spark that was once there is gone. Is there a way to get the spark back or should I give up on having that again?

Sincerely,
Hopeful Wife

Great question Hopeful one! You may have answered your own question in your question. That is, the routine that you and your husband have settled into could be the cause of your doldrums. In fact, in today’s New York Times there is an article called Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples which discusses that just by mixing things up in what you do for “date night” can create the brain chemistry that brings the spark back. This means that you both must be up for trying some new things together. They don’t have to be wild or exotic; simply new to the both of you experiencing them together. Check out your local community paper and see what’s going on. Take a walk in a new part of town. Read a book out loud to each other.

If you are reading this and have some ideas, please share in a comment to this message.

No matter what, get the spark back for yourself. You can do some things on your own too and that will help you feel great about yourself.

Wishing you every JOY,
Coach Laura