Dear Coach Laura,
I feel so frustrated in this area. Why is it so darn difficult to love myself enough and get a strong enough desire to choose the right things that feed our minds and body with healthy, life giving nutrients? I would support and encourage anyone I love to make healthy choices.
Signed, Struggling with Choices
Dear Struggling,
Your question is profound. I do believe you have a strong desire and love for yourself. That’s why you’re struggling. The issue is not having a strong enough desire to make the health choice. Rather it’s looking at what’s in the way of fulfilling on that desire.
There is something you are avoiding dealing with by making the choices you do make. This is your classic self-sabotage mechanism as I have described in the book, Transform Your Body in the Mental GymTM.
For example, if you choose to eat extra carbs or sweets when your not hungry, you are probably eating them to numb an emotion you are having trouble dealing with. It’s called emotional eating. This is probably not new news to you.
To transform emotional eating into dealing with emotions and healing, try the steps below. I cover them more in depth in , Transform Your Body in the Mental GymTM.
Step 1
Compassion
What would you say to a good friend who was struggling with their emotional eating and really wanted to make healthier choices? Say these things to YOURSELF. Be understanding. This kind of compassion I call self-compassion. It is critical to making any lasting change and feeling much better about yourself. If you are too busy judging yourself, you will always be resisting and not changing.
Step 2
Identify the Emotional Message
In the book Transform Your Body in the Mental GymTM I have provided a list of feelings. It is really important for you to STOP before you go and grab your next emotional snack and ask yourself: What am I feeling? The list of feelings may come in handy at this time. Once you have identified the feeling or feelings, you now have a choice, to choose your emotional snack or to discover what this emotion is telling you about what you REALLY need. Ask yourself: What do I really need? You may want to spend some time thinking or journaling about this. Often times it is to feel loved, peaceful, supported, encouraged, etc.
Step 3
Practice Making Healthy Nurturing Choices
If you’re not hungry and you’ve identified what you really need, then the creative process ensues. Find a way to give yourself what you REALLY need. Since we are only human this may take some practice. This is where your mental gym workout happens. Every time you feel that urge, this is your mental gym workout opportunity.
Please add your comments about what choices you’ve found to help you deal with your emotional needs.
Wishing you much healing and joy.
Coach Laura
This was really helpful Laura, thank you. I guess we’d all like to avoid emotions at some point in our lives. Actually, I thought I had dealt with most of mine. I can clearly see that I need to do some additional in depth meditation to see what else I am holding on to. Your support and encouragement is much appreciated.