Dating-Loving More Than One Guy

Dear Coach Laura,
I’m dating a few men right now and I think one of them could be a long term relationship, but I’m also in love with one who just reappeared in my life after 5 months. Should I give him another chance?
Signed, In Love Twice

One Reply to “Dating-Loving More Than One Guy”

  1. Coach Laura

    Dear In Love Twice,
    Ah yes, it is possible to love two men at the same time. I think it’s great that you have many options. That will help you maintain perspective and make choices for your highest good. The first thing I recommend (if you can), is to take some time to step back and gain some more perspective. Pretend for a moment that there were no men in your life right now. You have a blank canvas to say what your requirements for relationship are. I recommend evaluating three things: first and foremost your values, next identify the five most important things you absolutely must have in a partner, and thirdly determine what qualities you want your relationship to have.

    All of this may be difficult to do “objectively” as you are in the honeymoon period with both. If there are any questionable characteristics you are noticing in either partner imagine yourself with an anonymous person and visualize living with that characteristic. How much does it bother you? If you can live with those characteristics and your values align with his, he has the non-negotiable qualities you are looking for and you feel you are already demonstrating being able to create the relationship you want (for example: seeing him as frequently as you want, you have great chemistry, you have fun together, full disclosure, you feel like you can say anything to him and visa versa, common interests, etc), then keep moving forward. Remember he’s not going to get any better than the honeymoon period, so if there’s something you wish would change about him, think again. The key to gaining clarity is staying connected to what you want and being true to your self. The giving of your heart is a sacred act and one that I advocate taking when you have consistent green lights within you. Be willing to stay true to your values, needs and heart and create the energy for your best match to reveal himself.

    Wishing you every joy,
    Coach Laura

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