Once again sparkling speaker and author Sheryl Roush has compiled a beautiful collection of wisdom for women in business. Recently, her book, Heart of a Woman In Business was released. If you want to be inspired and informed, pick up this book because it may have just the tip you need. I found this little book has so much to offer from how to take a better photo, be a more effective leader, learn to cultivate abundance to simply reminding you why you are an incredible woman.
It is an honor to be a contributor amongst so many other brilliant women. This is an incredible book. Once you have it, you’ll want a copy for each of your friends. So check it out today…
Dear Coach Laura,
I was emotionally and physically abused in my last relationship of 8 years. I know I made the right choice to leave. Yet, I have some many questions… why did he even bother to come back all those times when he knew he didn’t want us? Why is he happy and I am not? Why do I feel I got the short end of the stick and never did anything to deserve it? If you can shed some light on this matter that would be great.
Dear Hurting One,
Thank you so much for reaching out. It takes courage to share yourself with another and I want to acknowledge the tremendous strength you have.
First of all, I recommend bringing the focus completely to you and your healing. It no longer makes sense to focus on him – whether he’s happy or not. Whether he is happy or sad will not help you in your healing and recovery from this long and painful journey. He cannot help you and never has been capable of that. That being said, can you see how much strength you have? You have put up with so much in order love another. You are a power-full woman. You have an opportunity to live life much more fully and create your own happiness now that you are free from a destructive relationship.
By the way, your perception of getting the short end of the stick is just that, a perception. After all, he’s the one who no longer has you as an option. You are obviously intuitive, smart, and very caring. You have so much going for you and so much to be thankful for which you are gifted with.Â Sure you’re in pain now. It’s called grieving. You are grieving a relationship that you relied upon as a familiar place to hang out. That’s ok. Explore your feelings here. Take responsibility by accepting the past and focusing on what you want going forward.
I also will warn you not to place him in the villain role because that then makes you a victim. Victims are powerless and can only stay hurt and stuck. Healing is the direction you can choose to go instead. So a change in perspective is warranted. He was in your life to teach you many lessons and make you stronger for it. If you can be so brave and self-compassionate, then explore what his presence in your life has gifted you with. I’m sure he did things that were wrong and very hurtful and as a result you’ve made a choice to leave. So don’t let him have any more power over you. Also, blaming yourself for not letting go sooner does not serve a positive purpose. Again, it puts you in a victim role to your fear. Rather, trust that the timing is fine and for the best. You may not have been ready prior to the time it happened.
Be kind to yourself. Know that you deserve love that is honoring and harmonious. If you remain in a state of sadness and feeling like “why me,” then reach out for some therapeutic help. Lord knows I’ve done my share and with a good counselor I’ve made incredible breakthroughs.
Also, surrounding yourself with people who celebrate you, lift you up and admire your strengths is a great way to build your esteem at this time. Be careful not to play the victim around others. Give up complaining. You can share your feelings but do not blame anyone (not even yourself). Be with your feelings purely. Blaming is merely way of avoiding the truth. You are strong. You are a phenomenal woman. Imagine our community encircling you with love and adoration. We see you as a vital happy woman.
PS: For some self-coaching, the Feminine Power Cards give tremendous support. Visit http://www.FemininePowerCards.com
Have you ever had a friend go on and on telling you about how you “should” approach a personal situation? How did you feel afterwords? Most likely you felt drained, unsupported and more worked up about your situation than before. Well, maybe you’re like me and you’ve been on both sides of that conversation. I admit it. Yes, I have done the unthinkable here. I was regretfully the cause of some rather uncomfortable feelings on the part of my dear friends.
The advice giving response is so automatic. You can relate right? A good friend comes to you and it seems like she wants your advice. She may even say the words, “what do you think,” “what advice do you have,” etc. So you dive right in and share your greatest wisdom. You feel like you’ve given her the keys to relieving her situation, only she sheepishly leaves this conversation feeling worse than she did when she “asked” you for your advice. Well, I have learned over the years to tread very carefully in the advice giving arena. I am nowhere near perfect. However, I am more aware than ever. And I have some really honest friends to thank for that.
What I realized is the underlying motivation for giving advice is to make myselfÂ feel better about her situation. In other words, I was hoping that my advice would help her alleviate her pain so that I wouldn’t have to be subject to it. And on other occasions giving advice just made me feel smart.Â Think about that this week or the next time you’re in conversation and you want to come to the rescue. Who’s pain are you really trying to lessen? Who do you really want to help feel better? Giving advice often becomes a selfish act.
During our virtual girl tele-gathering this month we will discus alternatives to advice giving. What does being supportive mean? How to be supportive and bring light and joy into your life and how to avoid the traps that will drain you and not help your friend.
This month appreciate your girlfriends and listen more than you talk and notice when you want to give advice. See if you can refrain from that. Join us on Oct 21st bring your stories and hear others. You’re not alone. Come to our safe nest and nurture yourself by being a safe place to learn, open up and receive the gift of having conscious girlfriends.
FREE Virtual Girl Time: Being Supportive & Joyous
In celebration of my 11th Year Anniversary of being on the Journey to Feminine Power, you and your girlfriends are invited to share this sacred time and space on this live tele-gathering for FREE. Come and let your hair down, open up and connect with other like-minded women. I will be doing a guided relaxation process and you will have an opportunity to cultivate your feminine energy in this supportive atmosphere.
Date:Â October 21st
Time:Â 4:45 pm Pacific
Call Details when you Register at HeartCenteredWomen.com
Our topic this month is Being Supportive in Joy. Women tend to give a lot of support in every area of their lives. This can be wonderfully fulfilling and lead to much joy or it can be a draining activity that leads to resentment, disappointment and failed relationships. In this tele-gathering we will discuss
- The traits of supportive girlfriends who create joy.
- The top mistakes girlfriends make that will drain any relationship and how to avoid them.
- How to identify why you are so hurt and heal this hurt.
I know that when women everywhere honor their feminine spirit, the internal struggle we feel will cease, a profound sense of enlightened confidence will rise and we will consciously rise to the occasion of lightening up our lives, radiating our light, and creating more loving relationships (first with ourselves then) with our loved ones, friends, neighbors, communities and beyond.
Can you see this future? Women pouring love into the world like never before. Loving what they do because they are doing what they love. Loving children everywhere and providing the nurturing needed for those who are in incredible pain and seemingly unlovable. Loving themselves so much that they only say “yes” to that which allows them to love more. They understand that saying “no” to anything else is imperative. As a result of this outpouring, can you see the influence we have on men in the world. Men feeling safe in relationship to express themselves and called to be more honorable, more caring for our earth and more creative in their solutions.
Women today are in touch with their masculine and as we bring that into balance with our essential feminine, our world will shift to value more peaceful sustainable choices.
Please join our community, share your voice. We will nurture your feminine soul and stand with you, and watch your feminine spirit rise to the celebration of your life, passion and relationships.
To support and inspire your feminine energy to come to the forefront, the Feminine Power Cards provide wise reminders. This makes for a great gift for yourself, your BFF or other special women in your life.
A world of women deeply connected and in love with their wonderful selves. A world where love flows and compassion is visible. Our world is filled with joy-filled, harmonious and passionate relationships between men and women that inspire the generations to come.
May joy-fill your heart and radiate into your life.