Have you ever had a friend go on and on telling you about how you “should” approach a personal situation? How did you feel afterwords? Most likely you felt drained, unsupported and more worked up about your situation than before. Well, maybe you’re like me and you’ve been on both sides of that conversation. I admit it. Yes, I have done the unthinkable here. I was regretfully the cause of some rather uncomfortable feelings on the part of my dear friends.
The advice giving response is so automatic. You can relate right? A good friend comes to you and it seems like she wants your advice. She may even say the words, “what do you think,” “what advice do you have,” etc. So you dive right in and share your greatest wisdom. You feel like you’ve given her the keys to relieving her situation, only she sheepishly leaves this conversation feeling worse than she did when she “asked” you for your advice. Well, I have learned over the years to tread very carefully in the advice giving arena. I am nowhere near perfect. However, I am more aware than ever. And I have some really honest friends to thank for that.
What I realized is the underlying motivation for giving advice is to make myselfÂ feel better about her situation. In other words, I was hoping that my advice would help her alleviate her pain so that I wouldn’t have to be subject to it. And on other occasions giving advice just made me feel smart.Â Think about that this week or the next time you’re in conversation and you want to come to the rescue. Who’s pain are you really trying to lessen? Who do you really want to help feel better? Giving advice often becomes a selfish act.
During our virtual girl tele-gathering this month we will discus alternatives to advice giving. What does being supportive mean? How to be supportive and bring light and joy into your life and how to avoid the traps that will drain you and not help your friend.
This month appreciate your girlfriends and listen more than you talk and notice when you want to give advice. See if you can refrain from that. Join us on Oct 21st bring your stories and hear others. You’re not alone. Come to our safe nest and nurture yourself by being a safe place to learn, open up and receive the gift of having conscious girlfriends.
FREE Virtual Girl Time: Being Supportive & Joyous
In celebration of my 11th Year Anniversary of being on the Journey to Feminine Power, you and your girlfriends are invited to share this sacred time and space on this live tele-gathering for FREE. Come and let your hair down, open up and connect with other like-minded women. I will be doing a guided relaxation process and you will have an opportunity to cultivate your feminine energy in this supportive atmosphere.
Date:Â October 21st
Time:Â 4:45 pm Pacific
Call Details when you Register at HeartCenteredWomen.com
Our topic this month is Being Supportive in Joy. Women tend to give a lot of support in every area of their lives. This can be wonderfully fulfilling and lead to much joy or it can be a draining activity that leads to resentment, disappointment and failed relationships. In this tele-gathering we will discuss
- The traits of supportive girlfriends who create joy.
- The top mistakes girlfriends make that will drain any relationship and how to avoid them.
- How to identify why you are so hurt and heal this hurt.